The loss—the GOP’s fifth in a row and their worst in over 85 years—proved so frustrating that some members asked Speaker of the House John Boehner to fire Barton, who has been a part of the game for 28 years. “Where has there been a shortstop that didn’t bat?” asks …

Adieu dinosaur bones [DC says goodbye to Fossil Hall until 2019] Uber’s defensive [because UberX can be deadly] Nationals conquer the Padres 4-0 [Natitude] Kids too frequently are [skipping school in DC] Old Post Office Tower closing [on Thursday] House of Cards will stay in Maryland after all [everything’s coming …

We want to be mad about this. But somehow, we can’t be. On the franchise’s Wikipedia page, owner has been changed to Atlanta Braves, a tongue-in-cheek nod to the fact that the Braves have won five of six games against the National League East rivals and 18 of the last …

Walmart just can’t get anything right [checkout discrimination] WaPo won Pulitzer prizes [two, count ’em] A reminder that hey, [maybe you should call your mom] What DC taxpayers say about DC [tax day stats] But what do your taxes say about you? [2013 tax distribution] It’s also [Jackie Robinson day] …

Jayson Werth has had a good record the past couple days: people are stroking his beard and he got a grand slam. It’s been a good week. Dribbble user Alan Oronoz made a set of sweet MLB player portraits. Here’s our own Jayson Werth. Check out this beard close up:

It has been 0 days without a shoe being thrown at Hillary Clinton #NATIONAL Obama nominates his Bro; NASA is building a flying saucer; Sebelius (and Seacrest) Out; #CancelColbert worked; Bacon prices rising; we want more more fake car noises in TV news; goodbye Ultimate Warrior; did you change all …

It’s peak time, people. If you’re not trying to avoid tourists at the Tidal Basin, maybe you should do one of these other things.

House of Cards not getting that big tax break after all [sorry Spacey] The Nationals beat Miamiiiii[iiiiiiiiii] Peeing in your coworker’s coffee [not a good idea] Bob Cusack, The Hill’s managing editor, will [make an appearance on Veep, NBD] Major website security flaw discovered  [change your passwords on Friday] Love …

Breaking: CNN is still looking for this roundup #NATIONAL Yellowstone … Yikes; Goodbye Letterman; RGIII is keeping #10, DeSean Jackson; CRAWFISH; We heard the last HIMYM episode sucked but need to catch up on seasons 1-9 so NO SPOILERS for the next year and a half; Microsoft rolled something out …

Do what you want to do. You’re an adult and this is your weekend. But we’ve got some killer suggestions that you will need.

Dads are the best, aren’t they? Adam captioned this: Best. Welcome. To. Fatherhood. Gift. Ever. #Dad Congratulations, Froemmings. via

Sure, you can propose with some #Natitude, but it’ll cost ya. The Washington Nationals proposal costs ($1500) are only second to the LA Dodgers’ ($2500). Source: Swimmingly.com

With the Nats home opener just a week away, we’re gearing up watching C-SPAN clips of politicians talking about baseball.

Easiest turkey ever [inflatable] Even more tickets coming to H St NE [streetcar] Millennials making DC some cold hard cash [big spenders] City Paper explains why restaurants are raising their prices [diplomate] Guy plants a banana peel on Metro elevator, sues metro, now tried for [fraud] (a banana peel? really?)  …

Photo during last night’s rain delay at Nationals Park by Jeremy Art.