Russia is threatening [to mess with America’s GPS] District Flea closing indefinitely [hipsters everywhere feel a disturbance] Bill Clinton can see [what’s inside your heart] RIP “Alien” creator and nightmare dreamer [H.R. Giger] We collectively suck [as a driving population] VA teen kicked out of prom [because dads were ogling …

The Councilwoman got her digs into DC’s local politics with her annual budget spoof letter. She proposes millions for a new class of “SuperDuperCans” that would be large enough to fit old trash receptacles inside. “The SuperDuperCans will be distributed on alternate trash days, and the old cans will certainly …

The ice caps are melting, Solange is lashing out, and government is as inefficient as ever. It’s time to blow the horn, Mr. President. Should Obama Blow The Silver Horn The Founding Fathers Left In Case The Country Ever Needed Them?

Idiot kid gets arrested when he refuses to sit down at Portugal. The Man [National Zoo concert] The National Mall gets heavy use [so step gently] Marion Barry is being exploited [and coming out with a book] They arrested some Bloods in [Montgomery County] The Silver Line could mean [longer …

It’s been a long three years.

Look up at your calendar, folks. It’s May — which means spring in the District is finally upon us. Put away your snow boots, stock up on the deodorant and prep yourselves for #DCspring2014. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered on where to go from here. Wait, is it REALLY here? Ways you know: There’s always  a line out the door of every salad place downtown. Swimsuit season folks. Parking: Ha. Good one. That special dead-of-August feeling is looming. Weather forecasters predict 80 degree weather, not exceeding 90. That’s a mild spring day in the District. Your Google Cal has no availability. You may wait for the bus forever. No, really. As in, it will never arrive. Tourists are taking pictures of everything. Corner of random building? Picture. Group of flowers. Picture. Beer? Picture. You feel your inner athlete resurface, only to one day twist your ankle on a sunrise monument run. Your inner athlete will retreat back to your living room for the remaining warm weather. “IT’S NOT THE HEAT. IT’S THE HUMIDITY!” is always being yelled now. Cherry blo- well, they’re gone now. No Instagram for you. There are too many activities to pick from. All in the same night: your friend’s party, an acquaintance’s party, a spring happy hour, three concerts you want to see. Brunches are getting a lot more aggressive. People are finding really creative places to lay out when the sun’s shining. Prep to Sweat: Throw out that old pair of flip flops you’ve had for 2 years and get some real summer footwear. Air out your seersucker apparel if Derby Weekend didn’t make you do that already. Buy excess sunscreen, bug spray and perfume. Get all koozies in a prominent place in your home for easy access. Familiarize yourself with reading weather radar. You’re gonna need it. Ready your 1 liter reusable water bottle, preferably one that effectively hides booze. Get a few sessions of hot yoga in to simulate the insane heat, humidity and close proximity of strangers you are about to experience. Plot a map of all rooftop bars to consult at a moment’s notice. Plot a map of well air-conditioned, commercial building lobbies to duck into at a moment’s notice. Fluff your couch cushions because everyone you know wants to visit “when it gets warmer.” Major mistake, friends, relatives & obscure college classmates. Find your damned sunglasses. Steel yourself against the crushing loneliness that will inevitably surface when your friends have plans to get out of town, oh, every single weekend. Know that you can always make it that one more block to the bar, no matter how close to collapse you feel. Remind yourself of the best angle at which you can stand to feel the feeble air conditioning drifting out of the columns on underground Metro platforms. Pro-Tips Congress is on recess. PARTY! An umbrella makes an excellent walking stick and tourist tripping device. Ladies: You can wear your hair up 5 days in a row and no one will judge you. The National Mall gets its own zip code when it fills up. You will go to unreasonable lengths to get a ride to a summer festival (aka a $150 Uber ride). Many people in DC have winter climate pups. No one likes a sweat stain, not even the Hollywood for Ugly People. Jazz in the Garden exists. Google it. It’s awesome. It’s also BYOB. Biking in traffic is a lot harder than Capital Bikeshare promotional photos make it out to be. DC “natives” come up with quite creative excuses to partake in a 3-day weekend vacation. Do with this knowledge what you will. The amount you sweat outside will never equal the amount of beer you’re taking in. Sangria: it’s a lifesaver.

A FamousDC favorite photographer, Kevin Wolf is a photographer by night (and dawn, and weekend). Check out his artfully composed portrait of a man near the Washington Monument.

DC residents finally bid adieu to the wintry, wet weather and are fully embracing spring. If you look around, outdoor patios are packed, rooftop decks are swarmed, and beer gardens are the weekend hot spots. There’s lots to do in DC that encourages day drinking to enjoy the weather. But what if you want to get out of the city?

They’re sure as hell gonna try. h/t DCist L Street NW – We're rolling…trying to catch them #parkingdirty. Again: Please, please don't park in our bike lanes. pic.twitter.com/hHzRMasaEe — DDOT DC (@DDOTDC) May 5, 2014

Game on: The lineup for Members vs. Press (aka the 2014 Congressional Women’s Softball Game) has just been announced. Full roster below. Get your tickets for the Wednesday, June 18, 2014 game at 7PM. It’s always a blast, and ticket money goes to a good cause: benefiting the Young Survival …

Actress Robin Wright (a.k.a. Claire Underwood from House of Cards) got sassy this weekend when asked about her favorite WHC: …we tried to get Wright’s take on her favorite White House correspondent. You know the folks whose work the weekend is supposed to be celebrating? “Who are they?” she asked, …

Cinco de Mayo [margarita prices] Mirror, mirror on the wall [which rap artist has the largest vocabulary of them all?] Are you single? Do you make $100-200k? [we have the perfect 400 square foot studio for you] The running of the chihuahuas [this is really actually a thing] Building collapses …

Story Partners, in honor of the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner,  hosted a slew of Washington influentials at their inaugural “Welcome to Washington: A Salute to Women in Journalism” event. The party, co-hosted by Story Partners’ Gloria Dittus, NBC’s Betsy Fischer Martin,Washingtonian’s Cathy Merrill Williams, CNN’s Dana Bash, CBS News’ Jan Crawford, and The New Republic’s Julia Ioffe definitely kicked off the weekend …

Good weather is finally here, and so is your weekend. If you’re not invited to any WHCD events, not to worry. There ARE other things happening in DC.

Want to find the most traveled routes in D.C. by both bike and running … so you can avoid those sidewalks? Yeah, us too. Check out this map from Strava. h/t Washingtonian