Top 12 Protesters You’ll See on the Hill Today
Trump is running out of options here – not that he cares. In a desperate attempt to slap a star spangled cast on a fractured GOP, the presumptive presidential nominee will meet with House Speaker Paul Ryan, GOP chairman Reince Priebus and other members of the party to discuss rainbows and unicorns over tea and heart shaped cookies (this has not been confirmed).
What’s not running out of options? This town’s playbook of inevitable protesters – all whom are very important and play the most pivotal role in society, or at least in this post (and most definitely in their minds).
Here are the top 12 types of protesters you’ll see lugging around signs and entitlement in DC today:
1. The “Basically your mom – if she was radicalized” protester
2. The “Homeless by choice” protester
3. The “I’m not 100% sure why I’m here, but ‘hey, this looks cool'” protester
5. The “Guy who was on the metro, still drunk from last night and looking for something to do” protester
6. The “I’ll just yell and be loud at everyone and everything” protester
7. The “I have a big sign and an airhorn and I know how to use both” protester (usually seen next to, but not necessarily with #6)
8. The “Tourist (or photographer we can’t tell) mistaken for a protester” protester
9. The “Yeah, I’m a trust fund kid taking a summer off to get into politics ….. and I’m voting Bernie” protester
10. The “I’m waiting for my big break as a cable news contributor” protester
11. The “One who will actually make a big break as a cable news contributor and hang the picture of themselves at this protest in their office and make it their profile picture” protester
12. The “Capitol Hill Club member who’s pissed he can’t valet park his car and has started a separate protest that has nothing to do with the original protest” protester