We bet you weren’t expecting to read this: ‘Jesus Christ’ excused from jury duty Court offi­cials say a Birmingham woman who changed her name to Jesus Christ didn’t live up to it when she reported for jury duty this week. [pray for her] Prayers Efforts to reach Christ for comment …

Pacquiao-Mayweather [on ] Al Qaeda [Afghanistan ] Hill homes [history ] DFMO [Real World ]

As only The Onion can do. Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP h/t Turk

This song will gain much more traction after it wins a Grammy.  [via Fired up Missouri] Wow: It gets better – way better.

Rep. Loretta Sanchez [D- Gretzky] is known for her creative Holiday cards, but this year she’s outdone herself. With the help of a professional ballroom dancer, [or a green screen] she was able to recreate a scene from Dancing With the Stars – all the while taking a quick jab …

Timely and threatening. Jake Tapper if tom friedman quotes that "we’re gonna need a bigger boat" line from Jaws one more time i will send the salahis to break into his house

It took watching this Chinese re-enactment in order for us to finally understand what the hell happened.  We had no idea Tiger drove a mini-van. [awesome] PS: We’re looking into whether or not they have a Mark Sanford re-enactment video.  Stay tuned.

Google just released a list of the most searched-for members of the US Senate. Curious? Here’s the top 10 of 2009.

Add these three TV anchors to the group of people not happy that "twitter" is the word of the year.  [fail] A news station in South Carolina has a billboard that displays their latest tweets next to a picture of their anchors. What, no hashtag for that?

In case you’re looking to rub elbows and drop entirely too much money on a steak. Our favorite line: "We do anything, we’ve got senators from Hawaii that come in…" How many?

It’s ruining careers one tweet at a time, so why wouldn’t it be the "word of the year."  [take that Facebook] Rounding out the Monitor’s top five words are, in order, "Obama," "H1N1," "Stimulus" and "Vampire." D-bag came in sixth.

Great question … KLSoltis: Just got email from RNC saying I can now buy Peppermint, the GOPs commemorative stuffed elephant. (My Q: Does it come with a policy agenda?) In case you were actually wondering, the policy agenda is extra. UPDATE: Buy your Peppermint doll here.

Mic check [mad DC cabbie ] Wine [angels ] Click [period ]

Raise your hand if you no longer give a sh*t. [or didn’t give one in the first place.] Big new news tonight on the Salahi front, from our colleagues Michael Shear and Jason Horowitz: The horse-country socialites corresponded with a top Pentagon aide in an effort to snag an invite …