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The Sus-Pence is Over!

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The Donald finally decided to choose a running mate for his 2016 Presidential campaign, and not a moment too soon seeing as the RNC starts on Monday.

In typical Trump-fashion, he originally stated that he would release his VP nominee on Friday morning, then said he is postponing the big reveal due to the Bastille Day attack in Nice, France, and then decides to disregard that plan and tweet out his nominee on mid-Friday morning.

Despite Trump leaving America in more suspense than a commercial break on American Idol, he has finally chosen one-term Governor of Indiana Mike Pence as his vice president running mate, and people are uh how do you say it… disappointed?

And others don’t even know who Mike Pence is…

So in case you’re wondering why Trump picked Pence, or you’re just breathing a sigh of relief that he didn’t pick Sarah Palin or himself (we’re not ruling it out just yet), we’ve compiled a few “get to know you” things about Mike Pence to show that he and Trump are actually a match made in heaven (or America’s hell – you pick).

Indian Religious Freedom Law

Pence signed the highly controversial Indiana Religious Freedom Law, which critics say allows businesses to discriminate against the LGBT community. Sorry, can you repeat that? Trump stopped listening after you said discriminate…

Sen. Ted Cruz

Mike Pence originally endorsed Sen. Ted Cruz for the Republican Presidential Nominee, but just like Trump, he saw an opportunity to do the impossible (become a VP nominee) and took it, running full speed ahead.

Keeps Trump on His Toes

Last year, Pence called Trump’s proposal to temporarily ban Muslims from immigrating into the country “offensive and unconstitutional,” so maybe this leaves America with some hope that Trump just gained another person on his team of who’s opinions he will also disregard.

“Smoking Doesn’t Kill”

In an Op-Ed of his entitled “The Great American Smoke Out,” Pence stated, “time for a quick reality check. Despite the hysteria from the political class and the media, smoking doesn’t kill.” So there’s another similarity that Pence and Trump have in common- the same IQ!

On Global Warming

In another Op-Ed written by Pence entitled, “Global Warming Disaster,” Pence says that the CO2 that arises from burning fuels cannot be the cause of global warming because it “is a naturally occurring phenomenon in nature…” not an unnatural one. He later goes on in the article to mix up India and Indonesia, but they’re pretty much the same thing anyway.

So congratulations to the happy couple! Seeing as Trump knew he couldn’t run for both President and Vice President himself, he picked the next best thing. Now break out your Trump cards America, because the sus-Pence that these two might actually run our Nation is killing me.