About That Hoverboard We Gave You…
Dear Clients, Friends, and Family,
We’re sorry. That gift we gave you really wasn’t meant to harm you. We promise, we really do like and respect you, and this was not in fact a secret ploy to destroy you. You see, we figured that this was the perfect gift for you. You’re cool, smart, and up to date on the coolest trends. You enjoy the finer things in life and aren’t afraid to try something new. So when we gave you that hoverboard, we did it with the best intentions. Honest. We had no idea that this futuristic floating travel device would somehow develop a mind of its own and self destruct into a ball of fiery evil. We didn’t know that the hottest holiday gift of the year would actually combust into flames. I mean, compared to this year’s other popular gift, “drones” we thought this one sounded safe. So please forgive us. When we bought you that hoverboard, we never pictured ANY of this.
So um, Merry Christmas. And please don’t retaliate violently against us.