We won’t post the messages, but we’ll give you the gist: “you guys are tools”; “if you ever took off your panties and got a real DC job, you’d know we actually work during recess”; “do I have to give the staffer’s ID back?”; “where’s Jimmy T’s, and do they have cranberry juice?”
More interesting than all that is the message we got from our K Street correspondent, who claims lobbyists know how to do recess better than Hill staffers. So we put him to the test and asked him to come up with a Day in the Life of K Streeter…
Below are the results. Who knows how to do nothing better, Hill staffers or lobbyists? You make the call.
FamousDC presents … A Day in the Life of a K Streeter – During Recess
10:00 a.m. – Wake up
11:00 a.m. – text boss from home asking where today’s lunch meeting will be held.
11:05 a.m. – send him list of places that serve mimosas and have brunch on a tuesday that he requested.
11:25 a.m. – receive text from boss saying that you’ll be fired if you ever suggest he eat in Virginia again
12:00 p.m. – Smith and Wollensky’s for burger and a Pinot Nior.
12:30 p.m. – decide that wine by the glass is a rip off – order bottle.
1:00 p.m. – Respond to emails from coworkers with camera phone pictures of wine label (bottle #2)
1:45 p.m. – Send out mass email to industry buddies demanding someone pony up tickets for nats game.
2:00 p.m. – ask for reciept from cabbie for across town trip to pick up tickets so you can expense the trip
2:15 p.m. – meet sucker with box seats at The Dubliner for a Guiness
3:00 p.m. – cab it back to the condo. Use time not drinking to check FamousDC
3:01 p.m. – call boss to let him know that his favorite committee staffer’s email bitching out a constituent for “sitting around on your ass all day bothering me at work” has become “Famous.”
3:15 p.m. – Stop the cab outside The Black Rooster because you see two girls you know sitting outside.
3:30 p.m. – Two black and tans down – finish their spinach dip without invitation.
3:45 p.m. – having embarassed yourself you pick up their tab on the company card and order a round of shots
3:45 p.m. – dry heave
4:00 p.m. – head back to Smith and Wollensky
4:01 p.m. – waitress from The Black Rooster chases you down and gives you your corporate card back
4:05 p.m. – bartender at Wollensky talks you into a glass of scotch.
5:00 p.m. – get text asking “how’s the game?”
5:01 p.m. – text back “what game?”
5:02 p.m. – response “asshole”
8:00 p.m. – wake up on couch in the Mayflower, warm vodka soda in hand
8:35 p.m. – kind man with ear piece and radio offers to get me a cab home
8:37 p.m. – man with ear piece and radio is no longer kind and now has his friends “escort” me to the door
8:38 p.m. – I scream a regretable comment as they put me in a cab
8:45 p.m. – cabbie asks if he should leave receipt blank as I slide out the door headed home
8:50 p.m. – lay in bed thumb through congressional directory picking out names of staffers to include on my expense report
9:15 p.m. – set alarm for 10:30 a.m. and pass out