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We’ve known it for years, we just never had proof.  According to the latest FDC survey, nobody [including staff] actually reads the legislation that is crafted on Capitol Hill.

“We never read these things – they’re just too long,” said an unidentified staffer wearing salmon-colored khakis and a crab belt. “If it was available on Twitter we might have more interest.”

“We’re like hip-hop artists. We collaborate, but nobody really takes full ownership or writes the entire bill themselves. Trust me, if it wasn’t for copy and paste, that health care bill would have been a whole lot shitier,” said an anonymous staffer.

Rep. Hank Johnson was unavailable for comment.