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If you work on Capitol Hill you see, hear, and overhear many things that the rest of the mortal world isn’t privy to. These privileged professionals that serve our US government acquire a wealth of knowledge that sometimes is just too good not to share. We’ve provided a platform on which they can unload.

Real Thoughts About An Unreal Election

Coverage of this year’s presidential election has been weighted, erratic, and TBH, depressing. That’s why I’ve completely given up on reading election news and instead have chosen to employ the Harriet the Spy method of news gathering – sneaking around corners, ducking under food kiosks, and hiding in bathroom stalls to get a clear picture of how people (Capitol Hill staffers) feel about the election. Here are a few gems from the brilliant minds of Capitol Hill:



“Do you think Hillary ever stops to think about the fact that her presidential opponent is Donald Trump and wonders what happened to her life?”



“The best thing to come out of this campaign cycle will be the South Park election episode.”



“I laughed when Trump entered the race. I laughed when people said he could be the nominee. I cried when he won the nomination. Now I laugh because I can’t cry anymore.”



“What would happen if Americans collectively decided that neither of the candidates is fit to be president? Would we become Lord of the Flies IRL?”



“If Kanye was really Yeezus, he would leak nudes of Taylor Swift and save us from this presidential election hell.”



“I’m voting for Hillary because she’s making pantsuits great again.”



“The winner of this election won’t be Trump or Clinton. It will be alcohol producers.”



“This is all just a power play by England to seize back power from the muggles. Well played, England.”



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