It’s about that time. A few weeks ago, you cursed yourself for not buying your ticket home for Thanksgiving sooner. “How could I have waited this long?” you lament, as you reluctantly enter the 3 digit code on the back of your credit card. If your family only knew how many Georgetown Cupcakes you could buy with this money, they would understand why you don’t come home more often.
Wait, What?!?!? Georgetown Cupcakes? Sorry, we know people like you never wait in line for a cupcake in D.C. And with that in mind, FamousDC is pleased to bring you our Thanksgiving 2011 edition of “So, tell me what’s happening in D.C.”
We hope this helps you overcome those awkward silences at the dinner table when your friends and family turn to you for an explanation of everything that is happening in our nation’s capital, and give you a strange look when you start talking about the obscure policy point you’ve devoted the last 11 months to talking about with anyone that would listen.
FamousDC presents: Thanksgiving Talking Points
- The budget crisis has lasted longer than Kim Kardashian’s marriage. Rather than an omnibus funding bill, they’re now trying to pass several “minibus” funding bills.
- We know more about how Michael Jackson was administered a lethal dose of Propofol than we do about how the government approved Solyndra for a loan guarantee.
- Like Rick Perry, we can’t remember the third point.
- At the date of publication, the Super Committee had not yet accomplished anything. *If asked what the Super Committee is, the correct answer: Your guess is as good as mine.
- There have been 112 Republican debates since September.
- The only Presidential contender not to lead the polls: Donald Trump. Oh wait, maybe he did.
- Reggie Love is leaving the White House. He was Obama’s “body guy.” This means he was with President Obama all the time and taught him about Jay-Z and Lil Wayne.
- Obama pardoned one lucky Thanksgiving turkey. That turkey is spending the weekend at the swanky W Hotel in Downtown DC. This means that President Obama has pardoned three turkeys and 16 humans.
- Jack Abramoff has been released from prison, has a book and is now a television pundit. America loves second acts.
- Pepper spray is delicious. Try it on mashed potatoes.