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Deadspin: The Tiger Woods Guide To Post-Scandal Press Conferences

A quick study of the historic record also provides several different strategies for approaching this important Hail Mary of public relations. Which option will Tiger choose?

President Bill Clinton
Strategy: Defiant lies

Basketball Guy Kobe Bryant
Strategy: Hold on to your wife. Hard.

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer
Strategy: Martyr yourself

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford
Strategy: Just completely wing it for 18 minutes

Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart
Strategy: Cry, beg to your god

Idaho Senator Larry Craig
Strategy: Definitely Not Gay

New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey
Strategy: Gay, but still married to an awesome gal

Louisiana Senator David Vitter
Strategy: Confuse audience with references to obscure, unrelated legislation, then hide behind your wife.

Baseball Dude Alex Rodriguez
Strategy: Just stop talking for 20 seconds or so