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I got my ass whooped this week by a girl.  The playoffs are not going well for me.

I’m going to touch on a few more games than I usually do because they are becoming so important this late in the season… for some teams.

Let’s go…

1.  When is the National Championship game going to be played?  Late May, you say? Yeah, I’ll be sure to catch that game.  Any talk about the Big 12 being better than SEC will be silenced after the Gators beat the Sooners like they kissed their cousin.

2.  I’m not sure if you noticed, but LT has been relegated to bouncing off butt cheeks at the line in order to give the real superstars time to rest on first downs and second and short.  At 3.6 yards a carry with one TD and zero catches the over-exposed, visor sporting, number one fantasy pick is essentially useless as he’s only now allowed to run between the tackles.

I guess he used all of his good moves up in Peyton Manning-like commercial blitz that started this season.  There’s nothing like tying your product to a “has been” that wrecked untold numbers of fantasy teams.

3.  I’m not sure why anyone thought that the Steelers were underdogs to the Cowboys this past weekend.  The Cowboys were lucky to be in a position to throw that game away.  Why are the sports pundits blind to the fact that the Cowboys are the Cardinals in sexier underwear?  Last time I checked, one team entered that game 9-3 (Steelers) and the other 8-4 (Cowboys).  Only one team on that field lost to the St. Louis Rams this year.  You tell me who was actually supposed to win that game.

If things weren’t bad enough for the Cowboys on the field, their cantankerous owner has inserted himself into the late season game plan.  A game plan that includes calling out Marion Barber in public for sitting out a game due to injuries.  Jerry Jones is the ugly added to the short and fat – just too much to overcome.

4.  While we’re on the topic of losing and the NFC… The Giants aren’t so good they can’t lose a game here and there.  I’m not saying they are bad.  They are pretty good.  They’re just not last year’s Patriots by any stretch of the mind.  That’s why I don’t buy that Plaxico Burress was the reason for their loss.  They’ve played without him in the past and did just fine.

If you’re a Giants fan and this pissed you off, shut up and embrace your Jersey reality.

5.  Brett Favre… Chuck Todd does not approve.  Chuck Norris is considering replacing you with Sunny Crocket, which would be the first time an imaginary character was elected a world super power since Dolomite held the position for a short while in the 70’s for a short time.

6.  Matt Schaub led all QBs in fantasy points this week.  If you started Schaub and you’re reading this post, you’re in the wrong place.  These words are for fantasy football fanatics, not fantasy football fans with downs.

7.  Tony Gonzalez is proving that things would be pretty shitty in KC if they ever had to live a day without a Mexican.  Go Tony… or Vamos a Tony.

8.  It’s official, the NFL’s midget is awesome.  Here’s his last six games -17, 20, 24, 19, 32 and 30.  DeAngelo Williams is bad freaking ass and he’s crushing barriers for short people week in and week out.  He’s giving us hope that short people other than rich, Jewish doctors may do well with the ladies one day.

9.  Joe Flaco the Moldy Taco beat his Southern Maryland rivals the Redskins this past weekend.  He completed on 47 percent of his passes and ran like my dad 100% of the time.

10.  Hey, LenDale – Oprah called and said, “you ain’t shit, skinny.”

11.  Speaking of unwatchable teams with zero fantasy options and the best record in Football.  Vince “I’m Going to Die” Young  may see late season playing time in order to keep their geriatric starter healthy for an early playoff loss to an actually watchable team.

12.  You know that team that plays with Adrian Peters, the Vikings?  Yeah, they’re in first place in their division.  Kirby Puckett could care less.

13.  Are you back on your Matt Cassel horse?  I’ll stay with my Bronco, Jay Cutler.

14.  Forehead Manning and his band of Merry Men have won six straight and still look like shit.

15.  Don’t believe in the powers of Reggie Bush?  The Saints beat a very good Falcons team his first game back.  Previous to his return the Lions were talking mad shit.

16.  The Colts, Cards and Steelers all had 20 plus points on defense.

17.  Brian Westbrook isn’t screwing around.  This guy is playing like his favorite QB may be shipped off to Detroit next year.  McNabb, however, is playing like he wants Detroit to pay him a lot of dough to lose 14 next year.

18.  Go home and pray your undroppables play the entire game this weekend.  While you’re at it, throw an extra prayer out there for Randy Moss.  If he lays a goose egg this week I’m out.