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Doughn’t fear, the Cookie Man is here!

After years of investigation, we finally know who’s stolen all the cookies from the cookie jar- it’s Kirk Francis, the man behind the DC famous food truck Captain Cookie and the Milk Man. Baking cookies since the age of four, Francis decided that after two decades of practice it was time to start selling his sweet treats to DC coffee shops in 2008. He then figured he’d take a shot at opening his own bakeshop and headed out to look for prime real estate to house his little cookie monsters.

In case you can’t remember back to the economic glory days of 2008, real estate was not exactly at its prime, so as any reasonable baker would, Francis purchased a 1988 Washington Post delivery truck and spent the better part of a year transforming it into the bakery on wheels kids and adults alike now chase down the street. So move over ice cream trucks, there’s some new competition in town.

We wanted you to get to know the man you have been unknowingly stalking through the streets of DC so we got you a Famous 5 interview with a real-life superman, Kirk Francis, who as it turns out not only knows the Muffin Man, but has made a milk and cookie house call to his home on Drury Lane.

Captain Cookie has a superhero-style theme to the business, so what was your favorite comic book growing up and how did it inspire this business idea?

“The Amazing Spider-Man. I have yet to be bitten by a radioactive cookie but I hang around cookies a lot, just in case. We tested ‘It’s your friendly neighborhood cookie truck!’ as our motto but it didn’t make the cut.”

What is the most bizarre place you have traveled to in the Captain Cookie truck?

“Probably one of the far-out wineries that we visit for weddings. It’s always late at night, and we’ll be two hours away from DC in deep dark rural Virginia, and sometime around when the road switches from asphalt to gravel to maybe-this-is-a-dirt-road? is when you think, This is it. We’ve been tried into driving the cookie truck out to Axe-Murderville, and there is no Johnson Wedding. But then at the last second you round a corner and there’s a gorgeous house with dressed-up people and whew, you’ll live to bake another day. No axe-murdering after all.”

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Approximately how many cookies do you eat on the job?

“I usually eat 4-6 cookies while working.”

Kirk photo

Tell us about the most memorable (for better or worse) customer you’ve encountered.

“We were at Franklin Square and had just run out of peanut butter cookies – not uncommon. I have a practiced spiel for that situation now, it goes like “Ah yes, so sorry about that, we just ran out! Can I tempt you with __, __, or __? The ___ just came out of the oven!” Well, a petite young lady walked up, clearly some kind of lawyer or consultant or other white collar worker, and asked for two peanut butter cookies. I had just started with the spiel “Ah yes, so sorry about that, we just ran out…” and before I could go any further, she screams “SON OF A B*TCH!!” and it was terrifying. There was real rage in her voice. We actually jumped back from the window because we were afraid she was going to get violent. Anyway, it just goes to show that you never know how much cookies mean to people sometimes.”

Wedding Service

Have you ever been caught with your hand in the cookie jar?

“Oh yes. When I was a kid I would eat cookies until there were no more cookies. One time my mom caught me eating a cookie before dinner and gave me a lecture. Fortunately she didn’t realize that was my eighth cookie.”

words of wisdom, though we believe every moment is a time for cookies #cookiemonster

A post shared by Captain Cookie (@captaincookiedc) on

Francis has yet to meet the cookie monster due to his very busy schedule, so follow @CaptainCookieDC if you’re reading this so you can find Kirk and all of his milk and cookies at these locations any given day of the week. Now if you’ll excuse us, me want cookie.

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