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Taste tested and approved by Erick Sanchez

Happy Thursday, folks. You know, it’s a different kind of Thursday. The kind of Thursday that requires a different kind of appetite. Your agenda this Thursday might be different than that of another Thursday. Today, you might have really big plans. Maybe you plan on getting up and heading to Capitol Hill for no particular reason. Perhaps you plan on spending some time at Gravelly Point Park watching planes fly into DCA. There’s a possibility you’ll do neither because, you know, crowds can be scary sometimes, especially on a Thursday.

In any event, you’ll get hungry, like really hungry because Thursday’s can really bring those hunger pangs out. Chances are, because it’s Thursday, you’re not gonna want to deal with any chatter or conversations when it comes time to grub down. Additionally, you may be looking for really creative dishes because you’re feeling really inspired on this Thursday. Thankfully, we’re here to help.

Here’s a list of D.C. Restaurants with very little human interaction:


Poke Papa

It admittedly took DC. way too long to get hip to Poke (S/O to Jessica Sidman for calling it out two years ago), but it’s a new day and now we have THREE poke spots. Just like a Thursday might call for, let’s pile up our gladness (not sadness) bowl with a bunch of fresh fish. I recommend ‘Da Grinds,’ which hits you with three waves of sea dwelling creatures: ahi tuna, spicy tuna, and loma salmon. Go ape on the sides and sauces and you’ll have yourself quite a Thursday treat.


SKWR Kabobline


This new addition in the downtown area is idea for assembling a quick, delicious meditteranean shame pile in a really quick period of time. No naan’sense here (you loved that, don’t roll your eyes like you’re better than that pun).


Moby Dick

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My, my. Buttered rice and large kabobs of meat and chicken? You don’t even deserve it but you’ll get it at this staple Persian eatery. Just be sure to be ready to give your order because the guys behind the counter don’t want to deal with your hesitation, man.


Farragut Square Food Trucks


Ah ha. The good ole’ square of food trucks. The unpredictability of the variety. If the pangs hit at lunch time, here’s your best bet to get whatever you think you want or just get everything and eat until you start crying.


Shake Shack


Now that we’ve hit tourist season, this one’s tricky. Thankfully, you get one of those buzzer things while you wait, so maybe just take it and wait outside until your order’s ready. You know, because you really don’t have the directions to get to the American Spy Museum. If you’re not feeling the burg, try the Maketto Chicken Sandwich*. It’s pretty dope.

*Only available for a limited time. Even more limited if someone today orders them all.




Where’s that? What is it? Well, friend, it’s one of the best sandwiches in D.C., tucked away in a really quiet corner by Nat’s Park. They’re only open till three if you’re craving a toasty ‘wich with a few snacks from their grocery section.


District Taco


Breakfast tacos all day? Zip through that line and get mild, medium, and hot at the salsa bar.


Amsterdam Falafelshop

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You’re gonna wanna stick around for this one. Grab a nice falafel, maybe some frites, and then be sure to go ape on the toppings bar. The key is to mash those chickpea fritters so you can really load up on hummus, tahini, a lil’ baba ganoush, or whatever else your little heart desires.



What’s not to love about gelato? Seriously. I’ve been a big fan of the Espresso and Rye Whiskey Pecan Praline, but I’m not here to micromanage your Thursday. Do yourself a *flavor* and ask for a sample or two, but be cool and don’t abuse the system. It’ll be about 83 degrees this Thursday, so definitely consider a scoop or seven.

Maybe you’ll go in person or perhaps you’ll decide to use Postmates (if you do, hook a brother up and use my referral code: xgkn), UberEATS, or Grub Hub…because you know, being outdoors can be unpredictable and overrated anyway. Plus, you probably haven’t finished the second season of ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ or haven’t even started ‘Narcos’  or ‘Bloodline’ yet. Hold up, there’s like 10 shows you haven’t even heard of?

Oh yeah, there’s really no reason to go to that scary outdoors place.

Happy Thursday, Everyone!


*This article was originally posted on April 20, 2016 and has since been updated. Bon appetit!