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During her testimony today before the congressional select committee investigating the Benghazi attacks, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton disclosed that she did not, in fact, have a computer in her office. We sought to find out what other items Secretary did not have in her State Department office.

1. A horse or any other equine animal

Hillary Clinton did not in fact have a horse, donkey, mule or zebra in in her office at any point, nor specialized safety saddles to ride the animals indoors.

2. A crocodile pit with trap door

Though a contract had been commissioned during the tenure of Secretary Condoleezza Rice, aides to Mrs. Clinton affirm the pit was drained and filled with cement , and the four saltwater crocodiles repatriated to their native Australia.

3. Armed sentry robots with Linux-based operating systems

Sources say all the executive departments have swapped their sentry robots’ programming to run on Apple software.

4. A cast-iron old fashioned barbecue smoker

Senator Clinton switched to Crock Pot-brand slow cookers back in 2007, for efficiency and ease of cleanup.

5. Trained praying mantis miniature battle arena

Though it was ordered, the special mantises did not survive the overseas shipment from Cambodia and the project was scrapped.

6. More than five hundred pantsuits

The nation’s chief diplomat at no point had more than half a thousand pantsuits in her office itself.

The FamousDC tip line is still receiving updated information on other items NOT in Secretary Clinton’s office.