This is admittedly way harsh, but it’s all in jest. Jezebel came up with a field guide to the U.S. of Bros, and we see a little of each bro listed in our very own hometown D.C. bros.

Here’s the overall DC brah. Is this accurate? Don’t forget: Ladies can be bros too (although maybe not in the below description).

The D.C. Bro

Uniform: Vineyard Vines pants, lacrosse jersey, croakies.
Job: Lobbyist, consultant, or something random on The Hill.
Habitat: One of, like, three Georgetown bars where bros go.
Hobbies: Googling self. Name dropping. Attending Georgetown basketball games even though mostly did not go to Georgetown.
Secret shame: Knows job is totally unnecessary, is aware of his own irrelevance. Is horrible at lacrosse.
Celeb brospiration: Paul Ryan

One commenter made it feel a little more familiar:

“D.C. Bro’s hobbies should include more league activities. Softball, bocce, beer pong, horseshoes — D.C. Bro is already registered in advance for all of the fun his summer can handle, and he helped design the tshirt. Isn’t this a hilarious tshirt? Do you even kickball, bro?”