Were you enjoying a cup of eggnog by the fire when you realized, “$@#! I forgot to get my favorite politician a gift this year?” We’ve got some ideas on what they want, below…
“I really want a framed picture of me and my new best friend Paul Ryan. We showed America how to work together and Congress is totally going to function like this from now on.”
Budget Committee Chairwoman Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA)
“Less teenage girls focusing on their appearance so much. I mean, all this botox and fillers and facial surgery; no one needs it and it’s not good for you. Be happy with who you are.”
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)
“To have just One. More. Intern.”
Former President Bill Clinton
“To be VEEP. LOL JK ROFL, I want to be President.”
– Hilary Clinton
“To be back in Congress.”
Rep. Trey Radel (R-FL)
“To not have a Congress.”
President Obama
“TRAINS!!!!!! ALL THE TRAINS!!!!!!!”
Vice President Joe Biden
“To be Ways & Means Chairman next Congress. No really. Like, I really really want that. It’s not a joke.”
Budget Committee Chairman Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
“An elf to move my car on street cleaning days. For real though.”
Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY)
“I just want everyone to get along. Oh, and buy my new book, For The Next Generation. It makes a great stocking stuffer.”
Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-FL)
“I really want the Tea Party to become a credible institution in America.”
Senate Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
“I just wish the GOP would get along stop primarying each other!”
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV)
“Chaos.”
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX)
“I’d really like President Obama to get the Healthcare.gov site working so we can get back to governing in a bi-partisan matter. There are Post Offices that need to be named dammit! Oh, and a hand carved ash tray from a tree in Ripon, Ohio where the Republican Party was founded.”
Speaker John Boehner (R-OH)
“I really wish I served in Congress longer.”
Rep. John Dingell (D-MI)*
* – Longest serving member of Congress
“Immigration reform. These fruitcakes don’t make themselves!”
Rep. Ed Blumenauer (D-OR)
Image via the Library of Congress