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Think about it. You’ve just gotten out of prison. Hollywood made a crappy movie about you. You have a restaurant hobby. You’re Jewish. You need a job to help make ends meet. But so many jobs are closed off to you (craps dealer, fedora manufacturer, talking to people on behalf of other people, etc.).  Your old friends won’t talk to you or help you out. Not even the ones you made rich and powerful. What to do, what to do?

Work at a Kosher pizza joint in Baltimore, natch…or at least hang out in the back and wait for closing time (no use shvitzing your tuchis off).

Washington’s favorite convicted felon (sorry, Jim Trafficant) is back in the area, serving up nosh to Baltimore’s Jewish community (and those too lazy to go next door and get pepperoni on their pizza). Quite the fall for the world’s former foremost schnorrer.

Jack’s also apparently been a mench in the slammer, teaching Torah (didn’t we see that on Oz?) and has kept the kvetching to a minimum.

Mini-contest: what toppings come on the Abramoff? The prize: your name mentioned here on FamousDC along with the winning combo.

Email your toppings to: [email protected]