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FamousDC presents … the Top 10 Reasons Why David Obey is Retiring

10. He’s not retiring. He’s Favreing.
9. The playful flirting is finally over: He’s gonna ask Flake to marry him.
8. His elbow was numb
7. Chuck Todd’s goatee told his beard to get outta the House
6. The House was going to stop purchasing #2 pencils
5. Those damn kids wouldn’t get off his lawn
4. Virginia Foxx wouldn’t stop sending him homemade possum pies from “a secret admirer”
3. He’s trying out for the “Real World”
2. Gavel tunnel syndrome
1. Lost best beard in DC title to Eric Massa’s next wife