Solid work, Johnny:

John Edwards has proposed to his mistress Rielle Hunter, and is buying a luxury $3.5 million beachfront home where they can live happily ever after with their love child, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively.

Dave Matthews is officially on call.

UPDATE: From Taegan Goddard

It’s worth noting the Enquirer was right about every other aspect of this story — from the affair to the child to the sex tape.

Read more.