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Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before the Christmas, when all through the White House,
Mrs. Bush was stirring, as she looked for her spouse.
The boxes were packed, except for a few,
As George hid in the study, wondering what next he should do.

And while W’s staff stayed all snuggled in bed,
The soon to be administration, partied on instead.
Axelrod dressed as an elf, and Plouffe covered in bells,
Snuck into the White House and began to raise hell.

And out of the hall, there came such a clatter,
When Ed Henry sprung from the press room, to see what was the matter.
And to his amazement, you’ll never guess of the scare.
None other than Clinton and Gore atop a polar bear.

They had been out all night, with nothing better to do.
When asked why they stopped by, they hadn’t a clue.
They just stumbled around, with no clear set of plans.
As Bill kept yelling, “Favreau – lay off my wife’s cans!”

And then the phone rang; it was Santa calling to say he was sick.
So it was up to Axelrod and the boys to deliver presents quick.
Replacing St. Nick is no easy task,
So they called in reserves, they had to act fast.

Now Daschle, Now Richardson, Janet Napolitano too.
On Hillary, On Holder, On Shinseki – anybody know what to do?
To the top of the White House house, to the top they all ran.
Now dash away, dash away, as they yelled, “what the hell is our plan?”

As the brisk wind blew, around the country they began to fly.
Obama’s transition team, as they headed for the skies.
So up to the housetops, the team smiled with joy.
With a sleigh full of bailouts, because they hadn’t made any toys.

And then with a thump, they landed on top of a bar,
The team of “hope and change” hadn’t gotten to far.
“Just a couple of shooters”, exclaimed Bill with such glee!
“Hell yes,” said, Blago “because I don’t do this sh*t for free!”

Four hours later, they stumbled back to the sleigh.
All too drunk to continue, they had wasted the day.
“Don’t worry,” said Axelrod, for this a situation we will not bomb.
“I know the perfect solution, we’ll just call our boy Rahm.”

Five minutes later, with a bag full of loot,
Rahm showed up to save the day, in a Santa outfit to boot.
For he is the savior, without him Christmas wouldn’t be alive.
As he hopped behind the reins and, said “no comment on Senate Candidate 5.”

Taking his role seriously, Rahm went straight to work.
As he filled all the stockings, he then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger on the side of his nose,
He hopped on Gore’s shoulders, up the chimney they rose.

He sprang to his sleigh and said, “well what do you think?”
As he looked at Gov. Blago and gave him a wink.
Rahm then exclaimed, as he drove out of sight.
Merry F*cking Christmas to all, and to all a good night!