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In a move that can only be described as inaugural desperation, G. Keith Harris, posted a personal ad in hopes of landing the perfect date for Obama’s inauguration.

He’s got two tickets to the inauguration, and an all-access pass to the night’s balls and off-shoot parties. Packages like that are being auctioned on eBay for upward of $7,000. A date with Harris is free-and hard to come by.

So far Harris has had 720 responses, but is chapped because not everyone sent in a picture, which was mandatory in order to be an eligible candidate.

And in case it wasn’t clear that Harris is only looking for attractive ladies, although he says “beauty is only skin deep” he was caught saying that “weight [must be] in proportion to height.”

If he sounds desperate, that’s because the poor guy likely is. Harris was recently dumped by his girlfriend via an email.  Ouch.