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‘D, E, F, H, G, H, I, J, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T.” – The alphabet, as recited by Rep. Vito “Vino” Fossella (R-N.Y.) when he was stopped May 1 on suspicion of drunk driving. We might think he got screwed (G? K?) if he hadn’t blown a .17.

(From criminal complaint cited by Mary Ann Akers and Paul Kane in the WashPost)