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In an unprecedented move, which could only be pulled off by the District of Columbia Police Department, the DC gang problem has now been eliminated.

They now have a “crew” problem.

According to the Washington Times, groups of thugs who hang out with each other and cause problems will no longer be referred to as gangs – we shall call them “crews.”

We here at FDC feel the strategy set forth by the DCPD is genius.  It’ll not only help tourism, but will give these guys way more street cred.  

D.C. officials insist on describing groups of young males as “crews,” rather than gangs, even when they are held responsible for violent acts such as the wave of killings in the city last weekend. But police officials in other cities say the distinction is counterproductive.

Unfortunately, real police officers don’t agree.

“The very first step in dealing with gangs is denial,” said Capt. Charles Bloom of the Philadelphia Police Department. “Then you get to the point that you can’t deny it any more.”

I wonder if the gang fights will involve oars now?

[h/t Malkin]