Reps. Peter DeFazio (D-Clever) and Jerry Costello (D-Wordsmith) held a news conference Tuesday to announce that someone on their staff had successfully managed to create yet another legislative acronym. The latest congressional acronym … HANG UP, Halting Airplane Noise to Give Us Peace, which would ban cell phone use on airplanes.
Both lawmakers are strangely concerned that airborne cell phone use will find its way over to the states, now that the European Union allows mobile technology during in-flight service. [Assuming that these flights haven’t already been cancelled or delayed.]
The D.C. Examiner reported, “No sooner did DeFazio begin his statement than, as if on cue, an array of cell phones began ringing in the pockets of those in the front row -‘See what I mean?’ DeFazio asked.
Shockingly, the entire thing wasn’t a coincidence. [Can you hear me now?]
‘We had it arranged,’ said Molly Simmons, DeFazio’s press secretary, who explained that she had put six staffers from DeFazio’s personal office and the House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee on the case. ‘I instructed them to be loud and obnoxious, which they were, successfully,’ she said.’
The HANG UP act joins the SPY ACT, Standing for Securely Protect Yourself Against Cyber Trespass Act and HEAT, House Energy Action Team as the latest unnecessary, and soon to be forgotten congressional acronyms.
Either way, kudos to Simmons and her team of acronym extraordinaires. And here’s to hoping this is the end of an ERA, Ending Ridiculous Acronyms.