You’ve heard of early voting, but you’re probably unfamiliar with early winning (or at least you weren’t until Bush and Trump got talking). But despite these unpredictable candidates and this very predictable election outcome, we’ve found some theories that predict the President well before election day.
No wonder voting rates in America are so low. It seems people have finally got wind of the fact that things like the outcome of a Redskins game, the sale of halloween masks, and the Academy Award winner for Best Picture get more say over who’s moving into the White House than our votes do.
Are you feeling a bit confused? Don’t worry, you’ll be feeling way more out of it after you read all the different theories we’ve found on how to predict the president.
And just when you thought the Redskins were useless… Story has it that if the Redskins win their last home game before election day, then the party that currently resides in the White House will be living there for four more years. If the Redskins lose, then it’s packing time. This theory has held true for every election since 1940 except for one.
Winner of Redskins Rule: Hillary
The sale of Presidential candidate halloween masks have accurately predicted the winner of every U.S. presidential election since 1980. This concept is simple: the candidate that sells the most masks with his/her face on it wins. We can’t imagine this rule being accurate this year seeing as halloween is all about being scared and nothing is more terrifying then a man that looks like Trump following close behind you…just ask Hillary.
Winner of Halloween Masks: Trump
Turns out you don’t have to be 18 to pick the president. Kids across America have correctly calling every single Presidential election since 1964 by casting their vote in the Scholastic News election poll.
Winner of Scholastic News election poll: To Be Determined
If you’ve never heard of this place before, you’re not alone. This tiny town has correctly picked the winner of every presidential election since 1956. Despite two exceptions, this streak can be dated back to 1892. So they’ll be no need to stay up way past your bedtime on election night, as soon as the results are in from Vigo County, you’ll know who will be moving into the White House.
Winner of Vigo County: To Be Determined
It’s no coincidence that the summer olympics and presidential elections only happen every four years. That’s why people have invented a theory that every time the summer olympics are hosted by a country that had previously won a hosting bid, the incumbent party will win the popular vote in the election. Likewise, if the games are hosted someplace new, voters go with this changing mindset and elect a president from the different party.
Winner of Summer Olympics: Hillary
Sorry Bey, but it turns out that celebrities run the world-not girls. In order to see who will be President, go back and find out who won the Academy Award for Best Picture in the year previous to the current election year (so in this case, 2015). If the winner’s film has a downbeat ending where the system fails the main character, the incumbent party will lose the election. On the other hand, if the movie portrays the system working in the end, then the incumbent party will remain in office.
Winner of Oscar Idea: Hillary
During an election year, if the Lakers make it to the final game of the season regardless of if they win or lose, the Republicans will win the White House. If they don’t make it to that final game, then the Democrats will win the election. This theory has held true since 1952, so know you know who you will or will not be rooting for in the NBA every four years.
Winner of LA Lakers Championship Game: Hillary
According to these theories, Clinton will be taking the 2016 presidential election. Even though some whack- jobs with too much time on their hands made theories that align Hillz with a victory, it’s important that we don’t take for granted our right to vote– a right that many people in this country fought long and hard for- and hit the polls on election day. Despite your personal preferences toward either candidate, the worst thing you can do with your vote is not vote at all.