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Yikes aquabikes!

Call Michael Phelps and tell him to not bother this weekend – the 2016 Nation’s Triathlon, set for Sunday September 11th, will be missing his favorite part. A notice went out this morning alerting participants and spectators that the swim portion of the triathlon has been cancelled. Apparently the Poo-tomac is too pooey for full-body human contact and doesn’t meet DC Department of Energy and Environment’s EPA-based standards.

So what do you do when you have some time to kill during a 4 hour-long exhausting test of your physical and mental capabilities? Extending your well-balanced breakfast is an option and we have some suggestions, all of which start with “mim” and end with “osas”

Collier Craft of Alabama traveled all the way up to DC for the triathlon and, upon hearing the news, expressed that he hasn’t been this disappointed since pretty much every Iron Bowl ever.

See the full notice below.

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