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Congress may be on recess, but that hasn’t stopped the rest of DC workers from slaving over their office desks and desktops. While you were refreshing your twitter feed working hard on a very important document, the best athletes in the world were duking it out in Rio. And all for a gold metal that doesn’t even have any chocolate inside, so like what’s the point?

Anyway, if you want to sound informed while everyone around you is talking about Michael Phelps’s resting b*tch face and the men’s synchronized diving teams barely there briefs, then read the recap and repeat after me.

Here’s what’s been going down in Rio besides mosquitoes containing the Zika virus:

  • The men’s synchronized diving teams were showing off much more than their coordination skills
  • The Olympic swimming pool had a skill of its own: turning from blue to green
  • The DMV is completely dominating the Olympic medal count
  • ….But first let North and South Korea take a selfie
  • Michael Phelps had his game face on
  • Katie Ledecky is absolutely crushing it
  • Ryan Lochte’s already peculiar white hair turned an even stranger shade: green. But we think we know the culprit
  • Phelps’ swim cap isn’t as strong as his butterfly stroke is
  • The U.S. Women’s Gymnastics team got the gold
  • Simone Biles is a beast
  • While you were feeding you Tamagotchi at the age of 13, this chick was competing in the Olympics 
  • Ibtihaj Muhammad became the first U.S. athlete to wear a hijab during an Olympic event