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Just because you’re not athletic enough to compete in the official 2016 Summer Olympics doesn’t mean you can’t be a good sport about it.

Speaking of sport, we’ve turned Washington, DC into your own personal Olympic grounds. With our DC Olympics Challenge you’ll think you’re in Rio competing alongside some of the best athletes in the world, only you’re in the much less tropical region of DC with  a bunch of hill staffers and politicians. So now is your chance to prove to those jocks for once and for all that nerds can be athletic too (sort of). All you have to do is complete our 2016 Olympic tasks…

  • Get across the Key Bridge in under two minutes
  • Make it from Starbucks to your office without spilling any of your coffee
  • Do a floor gymnastics routine on the House floor
  • Swim a length of the Reflecting Pool. You won’t.
  • Climb to the top of the Washington Monument (no, you can’t cheat by taking the elevator)
  • Run up and down the Exorcist steps without getting out of breath
  • Take the Metro without sweating through your shirt
  • Poll jump over the White House gates
    • Then sprint away from Secret Service
  • Take the Dupont Circle roundabout five times without throwing up
  • Sit in traffic without complaining about it on social media
  • Jump from the top of the Washington Monument and land on your feet (and alive)
  • Dive perfectly off of the Key Bridge into the Washington Harbor
  • Lift up the car in front of you that is blocking you in in he parking garage
  • Hurdle over the Metro turnstile

If you are able to complete all of the above without becoming injured, arrested, or dead, contact us for your gold token (that also doubles as a piece of chocolate).