After enduring both the Republican and Democratic National Conventions, these politicians and their families are starting to look a lot less like world leaders and a lot more like people I went to high school with. Between all of the cattiness and name calling I feel as if I’m reliving the 10th grade.
I guess Bowling for Soup was right, “High School Never Ends,” so here’s the roles each member of these presidential campaigns would play if Tina Fey ever decides to take another stab at the high school chick flick.
Barack Obama – The Principal
I’d get myself sent to the principal’s office just to hear his latest speech.
Joe Biden – The Cool Professor Who Tells It Like It Is
“I can tell you wrote this 25 page paper all last night… it’s a bunch of f***ing malarky.”
Bernie Sanders – The Grumpy Old Neighbor
“Get off my lawn!”
Tim Kaine – The Nerdy Dad
“Now you kids have fun now, ya hear?”
Hillary Clinton – The “Cool Mom”
“I got hot sauce in my bag swag. See, I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom that listens to Beyonce.” Surfbort.
Donald Trump – The Bully
Except he wouldn’t steal your lunch money, he’s rich enough as it is.
Chris Christie – The Muscle
“That Mexican was looking at you funny Don, want me to beat him up?”
Mike Pence – The Boy Next Door Turned Scapegoat
He’s just your average kid that takes the fall for all of Trump’s sh*t.
Chelsea Clinton – The Nerd
She’ll get a 2400 on her SAT, graduate as valedictorian, and go on to attend Stanford University.
Melania Trump – The One Who Cheats on Tests
*Slyly drops pencil to take a peak at Chelsea’s scantron*
Bill Clinton – The Player
This one needs no explanation.
Michelle Obama – The Class President
She’s smart, she’s fun, she’s a great public speaker. Everyone loves her and wishes they were her.
Ivanka Trump – The Captain of the Cheerleaders
“Ready? Okay!” “T-R-U-M-P what’s that spell? The next presidency!”
Donald Trump Jr. – The Captain of the Football Team
But in this movie, he’s not taking the captain of the cheerleaders… that would be incest.
Eric Trump- The Wannabe
He’ll always be the second string quarterback.
Tiffany Trump – The Party Animal
It’s hard to find a keg she hasn’t tapped.
Ted Cruz – The Bad Boy
A lot of people hate him and he doesn’t really seem to care.