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You used to call me on my cell phone…. Now you only text?!

This afternoon Hillary Clinton, a millennial-in-training, figured she’d announce her nominee for VP the old fashioned way- via text message.

I mean, she could have Facetimed us or just made it her Snapchat story, but I’m not gonna lie, it was nice to see the look on my friends’ faces when I got a notification saying “New Message from Hillary Clinton,” like hell yeah Hillz and I text.

Anyways, since Hillary decided to announce her choice for VP, Virginia Senator Tim Kaine, in one of the most millennial way’s possible, we figured we’d do the same.

What’s the first thing you do when you want to find out about someone new? Stalk his social media accounts of course! I mean really, who needs the government to run intensive background checks when we can scroll through Kaine’s social feeds and find an embarrassing picture of him from high school in no time.

So here’s all the dirt we could dig up on VP nominee Tim Kaine from his social media sites:

He loves to do the Y.M.C.A:

Happy birthday to my friend of 35 years, @senatorwarner!

A photo posted by Tim Kaine (@timkaine) on

Young man, there’s no need to feel down. I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.

He does a mean rendition of Green Eggs and Ham, and even added his own spin on the words…

I do not like Trump on a boat. I do not like Trump with a goat. I do not like him here or there. I do not like Trump ANYWHERE.

He knows how to take a hike:

Waaay up I feel blessed.

He’s a little camera shy.

Better get used to the spotlight. 

He knows how to stop traffic:


And apparently knows how to take that lady in pink’s breath away.

He doesn’t listen to his mother’s instructions:


Timmy? How many times have I told you, NO WRITING ON THE WALLS!

He’s tight with the Scouts:

Does he look more like a Thin Mint guy or Tag-a-Long man?

He has trouble making decisions:

But that’s what Hillary’s there for, right?

He’s an exceptional pumpkin carver:

Let’s hope he’s this good at taking a stab at other orange things…