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Al Davis died before this past weekend’s NFL festivities and it pretty much ate up every pregame, in-game and postgame segment on Sunday.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t this guy Captain Asshole in the Shithead Army just last week?  He dies and all of sudden he’s Mother Theresa of the gridiron?  Al Michaels called this guy an asshole a couple weeks back and I’m pretty sure when Al Michaels dislikes you, you’re pretty much a certified dick.

And let’s be honest – the Raiders didn’t beat the Texans in some kind of after-school-special-esque situation where they were 50 point underdogs that pulled it together in memory of the Gipper (just sounds better than “Al Davis”).  They would have beat an Andre Johnson-less Texans team regardless of Al Davis’ rigor mortis status.  To ice the loss, Mario “What You Gotta Say About Me Going #1 Now, Bitches” Williams left the game having ripped his own pectoral muscle off of whatever it’s connected to in protest of the canonization of Al Davis – by the third quarter he’d had enough of that shit too, apparently.

Shall we start talking about something else?

1. You gotta know that the Bills escaped fate again this week in yet another instance where they didn’t “win,” they failed to lose.

2. Now a word on Tim Tebow…  He went 4 for10 for 79 yards in a half football – the second half.  I think Brady was 7 for 10 in the first three minutes of the game on Sunday.  Obviously the Broncos took the ball from Orton, who was a whopping 6 for 13 in the first half and gave it to Tebow so he could continue to hand it off to a RB just about every down in the second half.  It’s like your CEO making you VP of sales, then putting your entire staff in the marketing department and leaving you only in charge of the company softball team.  Tebow did throw one TD and run one it, but if you watched the game – not all that great.  It’s not like anyone was saying “shades of Elway out there.”  Hell, they weren’t even saying “shades of Jake Plummer” and Jake the Snake was the gold standard for a mediocre NFL quarterback.

I get it, he’s “exciting” – but so are coked up Vegas strippers and you don’t pen you entire franchise on them, now do you?  Fun to watch – less fun to have around the house long term, just ask the staff at FamousDC.

3. Fantasy Fact #1 – The San Francisco 49ers’ defense has been in double digits three out of five games this year.  In week one they put up 21, week three 12 and this past Sunday they put up 26.  Not bad for a team whose only viable fantasy option at the beginning of the year was Frank Gore (thanks for showing up finally, asshole – you were about as solid as that whole global warming thing for the first three weeks).  The Ravens are the only better performing defense this season and they’ve played one less game than the 49ers, which scares the hell out of me.

4. Hello, Adrian Peterson. Where have you been?  Thank you for taking the ball out of McNabb’s hand and showing him where it is supposed to go.

5. NFL Midget of the Month, Wes Welker drew the best corner in the game every time he stepped on the field on Sunday.  Can you believe that?  They not only put a full-sized man on him, they put the best one in the game on him and he still had 100 yards receiving!

6.  Aaron Rogers came back down to earth for a while on Sunday and let the Falcons think they had a chance for a couple of quarters.  He flipped the switch, threw two TDs and ended up with just under 400 yards passing.   Not your normal fantasy production for Rogers, but okay.  I wouldn’t bench him – ever.  He’s literally hours away from dating an international super model and growing his hair past his collar.

7. Speaking of quarterbacks on the bench… Matt Cassel?  Really?  He runs around like a drunk toddler on fire for the first three weeks and now puts two games together back to back!?!?! Should this guy make your list of possible bye week starters?  No – he plays for the Chiefs and more importantly they are in the AFC West division.  However, it is fun to see people in bad situations do well for themselves – hat tip to trailer park lottery winners.

8. What does your hair line and LeSean McCoy have in common? They’re both receding.  McCoy has regressed each week since week one.  Could it be the fact that Vick is giving all the touches to the other team’s defensive backs?  Philly is learning a lesson about hype – I guess nobody over there ever heard of the Miami Heat.

9.  Fantasy Fact # 2 – Who is Jimmy Graham? Not the guy who invented the cracker.  However, he is the top TE so far this year beating out Gronkowski (no, the other Gronkowski, nope the other one) by five points.  The Saints have too many weapons with names you’ve never heard – who cares about first round draft picks?

10. The NFL gets it!  Again the Super Bowl will be in a warm place in 2015 – Phoenix, Arizona.  Nobody wants to travel to a game in the dead of winter in Green Bay – sorry.  If someone could only get the MLB on board all would be right with the world.

11. I forgot to list the teams on byes last week – sorry.  I shouldn’t have to tell grown ass men who play fantasy games that they need to be checking their team daily.

Broncos – who cares since you weren’t starting anyone on this team anyway.  We’ll have to wait until next weekend to see Tebow fail.

Titans – You were going to bench Johnson anyhow.

Chiefs – Dwayne Bowe is resting this week, hope you planned for it.

Cardinals – Beanie “Weanie in Shirlington” Wells sits along with Fitzgerald.

Chargers – AFC West almost completely sitting this week out?  Football fans should be so lucky.

Seahawks – Again, I can’t name a single player on this team, so you should be okay if they don’t take the field again this year.  Here’s to Pete Carroll proving that he can’t win when every team gets to pay their players – also known as “professional football.”