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Your boss finally fired up a twitter account started tweeting nonstop. Here’s what you don’t want @YourDCBoss to say on the Twitter:

Just left cap lounge.  Bombed.  Where r my pants? #partyhard

When I stare intensely at my computer it’s usually because I’m playing snood. Winners never blink.

#FF @JennaJameson

They think when I smile a lot it’s because things went really well in my “meeting” aka Botox appointment.

Divorce finalized. Message me. #freeasabird

Red line what? #personaldriver.

Whoever’s speaking on the House floor right now is wrong, old and needs a new outfit.

I like to get to work super early sometimes to see the frantic alarm on their faces when I’m already here working. Muhahaha

Wondering if my new smart phone takes pics?

Does anyone know the new staffers name? Joe? John? I’m over it.

Martini lunches on K Street make DC run #expenseaccount

Excessive emails are close to productivity. That’s what I tell myself on the golf course.

Sometimes I shut my door and sing along to lyrics so the office thinks I’m on a conference call.

Members of Congress should be allowed more than 140 characters. #weareinchargedammit