Not only are the abuses getting worse, they’re getting dumber.
Insert: I just dropped my laptop and part of the reason I am typing this is to see if it still works.
And: It’s Monday morning- getting haircut and reading the Constitution. Some around here in Washington seem to have forgotten what it says.
Oh, and not to be outdone: Jennifer just found a fruit snack stuck in her cleavage. It must have been there a while, because it melted. One more reason why I dislike my large chest!
Although you might be not be convinced, nobody cares you’re "grilling burgers and playing cornhole ." We also don’t care that your cat has allergies or the that you can’t sleep because you spent 45 minutes on the elliptical before you went to bed. Matter of fact, while we’re at it, we don’t need minute-by-by-minute updates on your daily diet, nor does anybody really care that you’re working for the weekend. Many of us work on the weekend, so even alluding that you’re better than us because you’re hiking in Great Falls is annoying.
Not to mention, you’re spoiling good high school reunion fodder if we already know that you’ve recently left your overweight husband and suffer from a peanut allergy.
We do however care that your "roommate just found a dimebag in her rental car! "
What’s worse than the people that spam our “friend feeds,” are the creepy folks who spend hours commenting on others’ status updates.
You know who you are.
You’re the guy that trolls profiles [insert creepy single dude] and comments when a young lady finishes a three mile run by saying, “Ugh, I wish I had half the motivation you do.☺”
You’re the guy that thinks it’s clever to comment when someone is having a bad day – and somehow you single-handedly make it worse.
If you appear in someone’s feed via the comments more than 70% of the time, and comment on everything someone writes, you need a date.
If you spend more time on Facebook than most people do sleeping, it’s about time you thought about putting that favorite therapist of yours back on speed dial.
If your idea of flirting involves “liking” or “disliking” someone else’s status, you might consider some sort of inflatable substitute.
If you spend more than one second thinking about what to write in the comment section in hopes that you don’t come off as creepy or stalkerish, too late.
If you comment on a cute girl’s feed and then refresh your Facebook page 45 times an hour to see if she commented back, you might want to take the Alec Baldwin approach and consider a mail order option.
If you ask a co-worker to edit your comment before you post it as not to come off as a douche, you’re hopeless.
If we don’t work together to fix this Facebook dilemma our society may never recover. Do us a favor and pass this along to as many people as you can. If you can’t send the link because you feel it might offend that person, think like Joe Biden, and do it anyway.