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Dear Mayor Fenty,
We know you’re busy , but when you have a spare moment, would you mind addressing a silly little rumor circulating the District.

You know, the one about you entertaining the idea of putting all DC residents in harm’s way in order to save a few dollars.
According to sources that report the news , someone has convinced you that letting prisoners out of jail early in order to save some scratch is a good idea.
We would like to go on the record to say: It’s not.  Matter of fact, it’s the dumbest damn thing we’ve heard.  And you can trust us because we know a lot about dumb ideas.

Let us help you break this down economically: All the money you’ll save by letting hardened criminals back out on the streets, you will likely lose in tourism revenue.  The last time we checked, American families weren’t exactly packing up the kids for summer vacation and going to places like Leavenworth and Sing Sing.  And as fun as hanging out in prison yards sounds, it’s likely not.
Residents of your fine city pay taxes so we can keep the bad people behind bars.  It’s hard enough to get our hungover asses to Starbucks on Saturdays without forgetting important items like our keys.  Imagine how ugly it will get when we forget our shivs.

Thanks for listening,

FamousDC