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Today’s Facebook status abuse of the day:

Tim Barns hates bitches who think they’re back in sorority-land and can just change the iPod whenever they don’t like the song. FAIL. TRANSFER TO ANOTHER LAW SCHOOL!

Tim, virginity can be tough sometimes, but there is no reason for such an outburst – unless of course you suffer from Tourette’s. The fact that a sorority girl can get you so fired up means it’s probably time you sought help from some sort of professional.  It’s also time you move out of your mom’s basement.

As for the “FAIL” reference…  Don’t ever do that again – it drives us crazy.

UPDATE: Facebook status abuse of the day #2:

Nancy is caffeinating for the day.

Way to go Nancy. It is 5 pm and you’re caffeinating for the day. [is that even a word?] The rest of America does this in the morning – between the hours of 7 am and noon. You’re already supposed to be caffeinated right now and thinking about getting alcoholed [definitely a word] for the evening. Put down the coffee and log out of Facebook. Now.

UPDATE II: Facebook status abuse of the day #3:

Jenny Smith says when you were 7 years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Let us guess, Jenny.  You wanted to be the next Oprah Winfrey so you’d have the opportunity to ask real thought provoking questions.  Come on … Facebook is for stalking exes and planning happy hours – not wasting our time while you wrestle with your inner Jack Handy.

Join the fun.  Report abuse below:

[contact-form 3 “Facebook Alerts”]