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In the spirit of redundancy, we’re offering folks a pre-written goodbye letter that they can pass along to friends and colleagues.  We’re offering this free service because of the influx of very long goodbye notes we’ve recently received in our inbox.   And while we certainly appreciate each and every email, we have two quick questions for those Administration folks guilty of already sending your goodbye email:

1.    Were you paid by the word?
2.    Was it your intention to bore us to such a point that we fell asleep reading it?

Below is a mock form letter for the ones of you who haven’t gotten around to sending your goodbye email. While this form letter doesn’t allow you the luxury of rambling on for eight or nine paragraphs about all the stuff you learned and what you’ll miss most about being the copy boy at Treasury, trust us, we’re doing you a favor.

It was such a honor and a privilege to work for [insert Member/Secretary/Committee,etc] for [amount] long years. I’ve sort of enjoyed working with [insert names of boss/superiors] and while I haven’t learned much, I have learned a lot about [insert favorite beer].  This is likely the last time you’ll hear for me for reasons I shouldn’t expand on. I can be reached here [insert gmail address]. Cheers, [insert alias]

For those of you dead set on not using our form letter, we dare you to be creative.  Matter of fact, the person who passes along the most creative “I’m leaving” email [or passes along a friends], will win a prize.