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Gone are the days of Capitol tours littered with made up facts delivered by lazy staffers.  According to an FDC tipster, instructions for enrolling staff into a “required” tour-training program have been circulating among member offices.

The letter from the Capitol Visitor Center [CVC] reads:

The Congressional Historical Interpretive Training Program (CHIP), which consists of two days of interactive training, will prepare participants to deliver consistent and compelling tours.  The program includes presentations from Congressional Curators and Historians, Interpretive Training, and the opportunity to hear and interact with a Public Historian.

First of all, not only is CHIP the most boring acronym they could’ve chosen, what the hell happen to the “T” [Training]?   Shouldn’t it read, CHITP?  You can’t just drop a letter when creating an acronym.

Secondly, CHIP has been used nearly 30 times in the past.  Don’t believe us, take a gander:

Computer Hacking and Intellectual Property
Copenhagen HIV Program
Concerned Homeowners in Partnership
And our favorite: Come Home I’m Pregnant

In case the CVC folks aren’t wed to this acronym, we offer one of our own:

WTF [Waste of Taxpayer Funds]

Also, what this letter fails to mention is that staff will not only be given a very comprehensive exam following the “interactive” training course, but they will also be tested for anabolic steroids and will be asked to give urine samples throughout their tour-giving careers.

Not to worry though, the CVC has promised gifts upon graduation of “tour school”.

Participants will receive certification as Congressional Historical Tour Guides upon completion of the program, which includes a CHIP pin, certificate, and letter of completion.

A CHITP pin.  Sweet!