Here’s today’s Craigslist DC want ad of the day.

“Hello, I am looking for turtle shells . If you are out hiking or just happen to come across any please pick them up. I will buy them from you . I do not want live turtles, to take them out of there habitat would be cruel .I am just looking for shells from turtles that have died naturally.Sometimes I have found them in train tracks,they get stuck not run over just stuck and die.Sad. So if you find any please contact me.”

Any chance Jim Traficant has internet access?