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Travel More: Sure, let us fit that in around the 2014 and 2016 election cycles. The boss will be a-okay with me jetting to Belfast for the week.

Pack Lunch: Ha. Get real. Hi again, Sweetgreen.

Check Your Phone Less: BUT first you must out-wonk this guy who you know only by his @ handle.

Stop talking to Frenemies / Acquaintances: But what if you really, really need a favor from them six months from now? Move away from the “delete” button in their contact file.

Diet: 2 days in and the boss forced us to eat something because we are all such uncontrollable b*tches when hungry.

Network More: Or maybe crash on the couch with takeout from Toki Underground. You know which option is more delicious

Shed Stress: Yoga seemed like a good idea, until you missed the 42 bus, and it started pouring AND you forgot your umbrella. Well, that lasted a good 4 minutes.

Get a Better Job: Either stay miserable in that job that’s paying you enough to afford to drink away your problems at night, or suck it up, quit, move home to mommy & become a ‘freelancer.’

Stop Drinking So Much: The truth is, we are all self diagnosed alcoholics. This can’t work.

Use All Livingsocial Deals Before They Expire: But that means I have to canoe, spin, eat brunch on a Thursday AND go to the movies before next week!

Stop Texting the Ex: Good luck with that. When you leave Public Bar at 2 a.m. all alone, sometimes you just need to hit up that one person. Even though you deleted his number, that doesn’t mean you didn’t memorize it.

Get Married: Why even bring this up? We heard enough at home from Aunt Sharon on Christmas.

Join a Gym: Ah, the January gym membership. We all know how that one turns out. Better stay out of the pros way this week at the gym; we will be judging you.

Keep on Budget: You can do this, or you can stop over to PJ Clarke’s for the third happy hour in a row. Decisions, decisions.

Save for a Condo or House: Read one of those free real estate listing books and just weep. It’s ok. We’ve all been there.

Go Gluten Free: Well, this, or Far East Taco Grille.

Take Fewer Ubers: And how will you be getting to work tomorrow morning when it’s “faux-snowing” and -3 wind chill?

Use Capital Bikeshare Membership: Have you tried biking past tourists or getting honked at by drivers? See how quickly your “quick ride” to happy hour turns nightmarish.

Actually Attend Everything You RSVP “Yes” To: You’re going to have to RSVP “no” a lot more and suffer questions from aforementioned frenemies/acquaintances.

Leave This Town: Thinking about everything you hate about DC overwhelms you and you start searching for jobs in new cities. Then you go out with friends to a Nats game and realize you never want to move.

Cross That Thing Off a To-Do List: You know what thing I’m talking about. It’s been sitting on your life to-do list for anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months. It’s probably something like “buy an area rug” or “start my book.” There’s a reason you had to write it down.

Photo by Kevin Wolf