In the Capital is hosting a swath of the most important, influential people in DC tonight to do what important, influential people do – receive awards. They’re awarding categories in Marketing & Advertising, Tech, Education, Dining & Retail, Sport & Fitness, Arts & Media, Healthcare & Medical, Real Estate & Design, and Government & Advocacy.

We thought they could use some more categories– and we even picked winners for them.  Just in case, you know? READ ON FOR EPIC THINGS ON FIRE IN DC.

AND, to attend the (actual) swanky 50 on Fire event tonight in Georgetown, grab a couple of the remaining tickets while you can here.

Most powerful entity in DC –
Pepco

Best dog park
S Street dog park

Best place for a first date
Board Room

Most influential pet
Socks

Highest status bar in the city
Fiola

Best under-the-radar restaurant
Mi Cuba Cafe

Best name for the President’s next dog
Franklin

Best place to makeout
Tudor Place – $2 a person for a “self-guided tour” of all the little benches and fountains in the garden.

Best specialty food/beverage store
Rodmans

Best place to blackout
Dan’s Cafe

Best public restroom
National Building Museum

Best place to find the love of your life
City Dogs Rescue

Best worst bar/ restaurant
The Dancing Crab

Best place to bring your grandma
Hillwood Museum and Gardens

Best wanna-be hipster bar
Boundary Stone Public House

Hottest DC chef
Nicholas Stefanelli – Bibiana

Biggest surprise (in DC) this year
Rusty

Best DC Instagram
Sunset behind the Lincoln

Best #hashtag of the year
#turnup

Best underrated website
Buzzfeed (LOL JK)

Best worst pickup line
Where do you work?