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Feasting Famously with Allie Hagan
The Suri’s Burn Book author dishes on eating/drinking in The District and what “Suri” would think of the DC food scene.

 Blogging takes time. Blogging well takes talent and time. Blogging as the personality of a celebrity child commenting (judging) other celebrities, their children, and their choice in attire – and turning said blog into a book – takes time, talent, and an entire set of skills that many of us are completely devoid of.

However, Allie Hagan, George Washington University alumna and seven-year Washington, DC resident mastered this art with the launch, and extreme success, of her blog Suri’s Burn Book, and subsequent printed book bearing the namesake. Suri’s Burn Book is, as stated on the website, “A study in Suri and the people who disappoint her.” Suri, in this case being Suri Cruise, the daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. On the blog, Allie (writing as the fashion-forward, ever-judging “Suri”) despises her mother’s sense of fashion, loathes the children of Will and Jada Smith, and desperately wishes to save Penelope Kardashian-Disick from whatever doomed fate she is certain to fall prey to.

But what of Allie Hagan the person? I chat with her about the Washington, DC food scene, get the scoop on some of her favorite restaurants, and sneak a few comments from “Suri,” in this FamousDC exclusive.

We begin by chatting about food in general and I ask some basic food questions. Yes she cooks. She really likes to use the crockpot as it’s conducive for leftovers. And besides being really into cooking Indian food as of recently, she’s discovered West Coast food-crack: In-N-Out burgers. “Since I’ve moved to LA, I’ve been really into In-N-Out, you know, the burger place,” she says. “That’s like, the only thing I’ve been really eating weekly. I usually get a cheeseburger animal style with fries and a milkshake – you know, very healthy.” No judgment here. I’d eat In-N-Out every day too if they had an East Coast operation.

Surprisingly enough, she says there are more food items she misses from DC than the places she can go to in LA. “I used to work in Chinatown, so I loved going to Graffiato,” referring to Top Chef star Mike Isabella’s Italian-inspired restaurant. “The food is good, it’s reasonably priced, you can get a bunch of different things and try them all, and they have really good drink specials too.”

Allie says she also really misses a place that has become one of my favorite places to get a deli-style sandwich from, and that’s Taylor Gourmet. “Honestly,” she says with an almost longing pause as if dreaming about their sandwiches, “I really like regular places. Like Taylor Gourmet, I miss that like crazy. There was one right by my house where I used to live.” I of course ask if she goes with the chicken cutlet or the deli style sandwiches. She’s deli all the way, and she says they have really good salads. “But they have these stuffed peppers,” she adds, “and they fry them, and they are ridiculously good.” I mention that they deliver which is nice for work lunches when you can’t leave the office, and true to her personality she quips, “Yeah, well, not to California they don’t.” She’s sassy, I like it.

Vapiano, Hill Country BBQ, and Jaleo are discussed, as is the crunchy tuna roll at SEI, she likes them all. “One of the best meals I’ve ever had in DC was at Central,” she says, although she can’t recall exactly what she had.

We move on from dining in the District to drinking in the District. Like all good DC-dwellers, I assume she had one standard happy hour spot, if not more. She didn’t. However she said her friends used to go to Recessions. “You know that terrible little bar on L Street. My friends used to go there and I boycotted it. After a while, I was like, ‘No, no, I’m not going there anymore’.” Allie said, “I honestly can’t imagine a worst Friday night than sitting in a basement listening to drunk college girls sing Total Eclipse of The Heart.” I guess evening entertainment has different meanings for everyone. Allie also enjoys the “adult milkshakes” at Ted’s Bulletin on Barrack’s Row.

Despite her lack of a regular happy hour spot, I assume she got her fix somewhere and we moved on sequentially to her favorite places to go when she was over served the evening before. “Um, I never really had one,” she said. “Hangovers are way to debilitating for me, I like, couldn’t even go out. But, I did live on the Hill, and I was really excited when that Denny’s opened, like really excited. But sadly I never actually went there because no one wanted to go there.”

Denny’s, after it makes me pause and contemplate these comments, reminds me to ask Allie if she orders breakfast or lunch when she goes to brunch? “What? Wait, what?” she stammers sarcastically as if I just asked her the radius of Jupiter and was serious about it. “That’s the worst question ever because that is honestly the hardest decision anyone ever has to make. Like, do you go savory or sweet?” she asks. “Which is why I like Denny’s because you can get everything for like six dollars: you don’t have to choose. I usually get breakfast, but it’s really between sweet and savory. Like, do you want pancakes or do you want an omelet?” Ah yes, brunch decisions stress me out too. I feel your pain, and if you see Allie at brunch, send over a mimosa as she has “never been a fan of Bloody Mary’s.”

Pushing thoughts of Denny’s, Recessions, and boozy milkshakes out of my head, I ask if I am able to get “Suri’s” thoughts on the DC food scene. Allie says yes, of course, and I giddily proceed.

Oh, Suri would probably stick to Georgetown.

Where would Suri eat in DC, and what would she think of the DC food scene?

Oh, Suri would probably stick to Georgetown. She’ll have a driver, so parking won’t be an issue. Since she’s not impressed with anything, she likely won’t be too thrilled with the DC food scene. But the DC food scene shouldn’t take that too seriously.

How disappointed is Suri when her mom, Katie Cruise Holmes cooks for her?

Extremely. She just orders room service. Katie doesn’t cook.

What is Suri’s favorite food?

Cupcakes. In fact, she went to the Georgetown Cupcakes store in New York. But she wouldn’t go to the one in Georgetown. She would certainly never stand in line at Georgetown Cupcake, or any line for that matter. Also, she would never come to DC for a cupcake.

After we wrap up the “Suri” conversation, and I praise Allie Hagan for being hilarious, very gracious with her time, and someone whose blog I stalk daily, it’s time for the Feasting Famously Fast Five where I pick random words and ask Allie to say the first thing that comes to mind.

Champagne – New Year’s Eve
Waffles – best breakfast ever
Hamburger – awesome
Ceviche – delicious
Katie Holmes – sad (said very frankly after a long pause)

Allie Hagan, despite having almost 82,000 followers on Twitter through her very popular blog Suri’s Burn Book, and a wildly popular book titled, Suri’s Burn Book: Well-Dressed Commentary from Hollywood’s Little Sweetheart, is incredibly down-to-earth, very, painfully funny, and an overall joy to converse with.

I think I can speak for all of your fans at FamousDC, and all of my friends who obsess over the blog; in saying, for the love of God will someone please go to Denny’s with this girl and bring her a Taylor Gourmet sandwich!