JESS3 / The State of The Internet from JESS3 on Vimeo.

“No” [unnecessary] Slightly drizzle [$30] Andy Baldwin [fire] Fastest [bartender]

This seems suspect: Just as the healthcare drama in the capitol reaches a grand finale, congressional officials are warning employees to avoid the DRUDGE REPORT! The Senate’s Committee on Environment and Public Works issued an urgent email late Monday claiming the DRUDGE REPORT is ‘responsible for the many viruses popping …

The only thing going well for Nancy today, a rhyming headline courtesy of POLITICO: Pelosi’s grip on House slips Next week she gets her very own haiku.

Sure, we could talk about this: Rep. Massa describes a confrontation with Emanuel in a shower: “I am showering, naked as a jaybird, and here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest, yelling at me.” [TMI] Naked or not, …

Meet the Monument [feast after famine] PostSecret [Sunday secrets] Cherry Blossom [webcam] Wizards [Truth About It] I [not a number]

Andrew Sullivan speaks highly of Mark Halperin in his latest blog post: No one does it better than Mark Halperin. Every single thing he cites in his latest brain-dead critique is, I believe, tangibly false, and the moronic attempt to grab some pageviews by a counter-intuitive and utterly dumb analogy …

Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY), in a radio interview, on the White House chief of staff: “Rahm Emanuel is son of the devil’s spawn… He is an individual who would sell his mother to get a vote. He would strap his children to the front end of a steam locomotive.” Snap. …

Zach Galifianakis rocked Saturday Night Live

Chuck Todd: “There’s no worse crime in journalism these days than simply deciding something’s a story because Drudge links to it.”

Nikita Stewart and Paul Schwartzman probably aren’t getting out of parking tickets any time soon. WaPo: Friends share in D.C. Mayor Adrian M. Fenty’s good fortune

The WaPo can’t quit Rahm, David Broder will likely get a crappy Secret Santa gift, USA hockey still rules, Shannon Flaherty is heading back to the hill, Charlie Rangel has a little more free time now, Jay-Z lit up the White House, stare down, meet Josh Rogin, Obama’s cholesterol went …

Brilliant move by Conan: @ConanOBrien I’ve decided to follow someone at random. She likes peanut butter and gummy dinosaurs. Sarah Killen, your life is about to change. Her followers were at 15 when we posted this. Her response: @lovelybutton Having a lame ass day, Russell Bigos is an idiot. And …