As the competition for readers increases, so does the level of creativity in the headlines. Ben Nelson Has Issues [RCP] Don’t worry Mr. Nelson, we have issues too.

Leave it to the clever minds at the LA Times: Al Gore (rhymes with bore) invents a poem about global climate warming change The poem can be seen below. It’s amazing. [vapors rise] via molly brynn

…By pledging to withhold sex from those opposing health care reform. Californication star Eva Amurri and Friday Night Lights quarterback Zach Gilford make the pitch. One wonky question from us: what if we would totally vote for cloture, but support a final bill without a public option, or maybe support …

Certainly the strangest and saddest story we’ve seen all week. A 4-year-old boy, beer in hand, is accused of stealing Christmas presents from his neighbors. It’s a strange story, but also a sad one. His mother claims he got drunk and wandered the streets looking for his father – who …

Oh no she didn’t… In Sen. John Kerry’s (D-MA) Christmas card, taken at his daughter’s wedding, Teresa Heinz is wearing a "ketchup-red gown" and holding a "wrap" or a "train" — and might’ve been trying to "upstage the bride" Via Wake Up call.

Attention Christmas Shoppers [TuckerBlair ] Vinny Cerrato [outtie 5,000 ] Meredith Grey [goodbye ] Real Housewives [DC ] Bad Asses [NMS ]

Members from the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore participated in Jay Leno’s "Jaywalking" trivia last night, and while "The Situation" and Pauly did fairly well (with the help of the host), our favorite cast member, and self-proclaimed inventor of the poof, Snooki, made us worry about the education system in …

Kim Hart’s Hillicon Valley: It’s not just you: Blackberry outage reported: Blackberry appears to be having some problems in the Washington .. http://bit.ly/4RxS6L

If you’d like an all-expense-paid trip to a foreign country complete with five-star amenities, just become a member of Congress. Lawmakers take scores of overseas trips each year … [t]he cost they reported for such travel abroad was $13 million in 2008, a 70% jump from 2005, according to a …

Obama’s change trickles down to the Redskins: Vinny Cerrato, the much-maligned Washington Redskins executive vice-president of football operations, resigned this morning, nearly two years after becoming the organization’s de facto general manager. Fans in D.C. are treating the news as an early Christmas present. [bye] Cerrato hired Zorn, so this …

Watch as members of Congress rate their job performance.

FishbowlDC’s Matt Dornic brings the heat: "She Wolf" Meets "The Wolf" on CNN’s Situation Room

What do you get when you combine one of the most unique bars in D.C. with the hottest new social league? A sloppy good time. Starting January 10, teams of eight will battle the best D.C. has to offer for a chance at skee-ball greatness at H Street Country Club. …